When the carer has to be the cared for! Pt 2

Part 2 of my recovery from an operation

written by Carer JJ

Well i am now 6 weeks into my recovery.

i have been discharged by the hospital and can now do light housework though my normal activities are still on hold for another 6 weeks.

So how did we do?

well we limped over the finish line! Poor Susan limped more than us! She has recovered the use of her foot. Thank goodness for eldest daughter Sarah who came home from university for the holidays and helped no end. Sadly Fred used this as an excuse to go back to his usual activities of staying in his chair, sleeping and expecting to be waited on.

i have never felt so vulnerable as i have done over these weeks. To be in the hands of others who usually depend on you is very frightening. Not being able to support Susan through her sprained ligaments and take her to appointments was so distressing. All carers know that control and being organised is the key to our households. Losing this was disorientating and stressful. I lost my place in the house somehow. The go to person was no longer available.

Fred can do more than he let’s on. That i knew and we had planned this as a new beginning in our marriage as we would have learned through this experience how to relax on each other not just me. We would go for walks together or chat and be a couple. The plan was that i was unfit after the operation we would do our physio together, walk in the park by our house to improve both out conditions. Sadly Fred didn’t join i and after a couple of walks him on his scooter me in foot he suggest i took my phone and call if i had a problem.

So when Sarah came home and could help me with cooking along with Susan i was so relieved. Thank goodness for my friends who helped with getting Susan to school when she couldn’t walk ther due to the pain. Than goodness for the family who rang everyday if they couldn’t pop round or in my parents case live to far away. I realised that without my wonderful daughters and my family and friend i would have been in such a hard place where neither of us would have had any help or support.

But i unlike a lot of carers also had so much kindness and support from a place that not many have. This place supports every day no matter what the time or what their situation is . Whether i need to talk or rant everyone is there with support care advice or a virtual hug. This is my second family. The family that i couldn’t do with out and who have saved my sanity on a daily basis for nearly 4 years. https://chill4uscarers.co.uk/