“IF you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.” So said Dr Carl Sagan, American astronomer, writer and scientist. All things being equal, I prefer the more traditional Mrs Beeton approach – sourcing the ingredients is marginally more straightforward.

And what about creating the New Year? Is there an official cut-off point for desisting in wishing others a happy one? It can be tricky – colleagues arrive back at work on different dates, some acquaintances you don’t necessarily see within the first few days or even weeks of January.

The other thing about New Year is that it’s difficult to decide if everything changes or nothing really changes at all – the world looks the same but often feels very different.

This sentiment was very much emphasised by Robert, carer for his wife Pat, who lives near Cirencester. Robert found, on becoming Pat’s carer, that their lives had to be somewhat ‘re-invented’, even if it wasn’t from scratch…

“These days I do pretty much everything for Pat,” says Robert. “She had a stroke in 2007 and then a couple of years ago she had a serious fall and now has problems getting around.”

Robert says Pat finds everyday tasks and simple chores like dressing very challenging. “By being around I am able to help her do all these things,” he explains. “But also help retain as much independence as possible.”

It has also had an impact on other aspects their lives. “There are things you wouldn’t think about,” Robert continues. “For example, my outlet is walking the dog. If I want to go out and do a few miles, I have to pay somebody to sit with Pat which obviously has an impact on our finances. The sitting services are good, but it would be great if there was more availability for longer sitting periods at a reasonable cost.”

And the impact is not purely financial. “My own health and personal ‘wellbeing’ has definitely suffered too,” remarks Robert. “The last time I had a proper break was three years ago. I don’t even get out socially as going out as a couple is difficult these days, all those opportunities have just gone.

“Being a carer requires much more hard work than the ‘traditional’ role of husband,” Robert reflects. “If I could change one thing I’d make all the systems more carer friendly. Often you have to speak to many different people to get something sorted out and that adds to my stress.”

Robert admits he often worries about the future and that he finds it hard to ask for support. “It’s not something I’m used to,” he comments. “I’ve come to realise that I must consider my own needs but it’s not always that easy. I believe Carers Gloucestershire and other agencies are trying to make a difference for carers like me,” Robert concludes. “To help me carry on in my role – I guess I’ve got a permanent job…”

Another quote on change: “To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often,” said Winston Churchill. I’ve often said that whilst Carers Gloucestershire can’t promise to make every situation perfect, we always hope to make some difference, to help and support carers cope with the unexpected and unplanned for changes in their lives.

So, to all carers in Gloucestershire, I wish you a good 2013. And, at the risk of repeating myself, happy New Year.

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