Is your elderly neighbour on their own this Christmas?
Being alone has same effect on health as 15 cigarettes every day
At least you have got each other. But estimates suggest more than half a million elderly people will be on their own this Christmas.
Many will feel bereft and lost following the death of a long-term partner. Some will have children but may not live close enough for the family to visit with any regularity.
And the sad, solitary state of many older people is not just a state of mind. Experts have equated the effect of loneliness on health to that of obesity or smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
It can hasten dementia and increase the risk of heart disease and high blood pressure.
Half of all people aged 75 or over live alone and at least one in ten of the ten million over-65s in Britain is badly affected by solitude.
Five million elderly — half of that number — say television is their main companion and more than half a million — 600,000 — admit they leave their house less than once a week.
Recent research by WRVS — a charity helping older people — identified nearly 400,000 elderly people who say they have children who are too busy to see them.
And the further away from their elderly parents the children live, the worse the situation becomes.
The WRVS research showed that for ten per cent of parents over 75, their nearest child lives more than an hour’s drive away.
And of those, almost half are visited just once every two to six months.
WRVS chief executive David McCullough said: “Christmas is supposed to be a time for friends and family but the sad reality for many older people is that they will spend it alone.
“We urge everyone to spare a little time and thought this Christmas for older people in the community who may be spending the festive period alone. Asking if there’s any time they would like to join you and celebrate the holiday could make all the difference to their Christmas.”
The WRVS will be providing Christmas lunch get-togethers for the elderly across the country tomorrow, as well as running a meals on wheels service for those who cannot leave their homes, or prefer not to.
It’s not just the customers who benefit from the WRVS services — the volunteers do too.
Breda Lamb, the Good Neighbour Service Manager in Banbury, Oxon, organises volunteers who befriend and transport people to the charity’s centre.
She said: “We have got eight volunteers coming to help out on Christmas Day, plus the volunteer drivers who get people here and get them home again.
“Volunteering is not a selfless act — we get something out of it as well. Everyone likes to feel appreciated and our volunteers certainly are. Some of them might have been on their own too if they weren’t helping.”
Mrs Lamb added: “We have had volunteers who are not in the best of health themselves, but they help out when they are able, and we have had volunteers with depression who have found helping other people really gives them a boost.”
Age UK also run a befriending service, providing companionship and conversation for the lonely elderly. Research for the charity’s Spread The Warmth campaign found more than three million people over 65 are not looking forward to Christmas this year. Nearly one in five said it was because they were going to be on their own.
The research showed that more than 700,000 of those over 65 do not know their neighbours. Many are afraid to leave their homes, while others do not get to know their neighbours because they do not want be a burden — they say their neighbours always seem to be busy.
Here we focus on two cases of elderly loneliness, and we detail what you can do to help to solve a nationwide problem.
Peggy’s story
WIDOW Peggy Thorold feels lucky she is fit enough to make her own way to the WRVS Cornhill Centre in Banbury, Oxon, twice a week.
On the bus she befriends older people, giving them the confidence to go to the centre rather than be alone.
Peggy, 83, said: “It means a lot to get out of the house. It’s better than staying in on your own, staring at four walls. If I stay at home I’ve only got a cat to talk to and, anyway, there’s never anything on television.
“At our age, if there is anything good on TV we’ve already seen it before.”
Peggy’s husband Dennis died ten years ago and she will spend tomorrow with her daughter.
Dennis, who Peggy was married to for 53 years, had been a traditionalist who did not want her to have to work, so she used to do voluntary work herself, cooking dinners for the elderly twice a week, for 29 years.
Of the WRVS services, Peggy said: “It’s nice to be on the other side of the counter now – and you don’t have to wash up afterwards!”
Roderick’s story
RODERICK BATCHELOR will be on his own at Christmas.
A former community nurse, the 83-year-old never married and has lived alone in Hove, East Sussex, for most of his adult life.
His only family is a sister who lives in Essex and who he only gets to speak to once a week on the phone. They rarely see each other.
The only person he will see on Christmas Day will be the WRVS volunteer who will deliver his lunch, as they do every day. He said: “I am always ready for them, with the table laid.
“They usually stay for a little chat, though I don’t want to make them late for the next person.”
Roderick is not as mobile as he used to be but, like many his age, is fiercely proud and does not want to be a burden.
He manages to get to a nearby cafe for his regular breakfast but, apart from his twice-daily visits from carers, the rest of his day is filled by reading, watching TV, doing paperwork, a little pottering in his back garden or watching life go by through his front window.
How you can help
IF you’d like to help the elderly but worry volunteering would be too much of a commitment, think again.
The WRVS and Age UK services can fit around the time you can give. The WRVS’s Breda Lamb said: “There lots of people who would like to help but they are afraid of being lumbered. They don’t realise they are not committing themselves to anything.
“If they say what they can do, and when, then we won’t expect anything more of them than that.
“Help out in one of our centres, befriend an elderly person or just occasionally provide transport.”
Interested in volunteering? See wrvs.org.uk/get-involved/volunteer or ageuk.org.uk/get-involved/volunteer.
Factfile
5 million elderly consider television their main compan
One in ten over 65s feel permanently lonely
230,000 will be on their own this Christmas
3 million people over 65 are not looking forward to Christmas
700,000 older people do not know their neighbours
