Monthly Archives: February 2014
Would you put your life on hold to care for an ex who fell ill?
Rachel did – for the husband she divorced 11 years ago. Odd? No, she says it’s her duty
- Rachel Adriano, 67, looks after her ex-husband who has terminal cancer
- She divorced from Andy after 38 years
- Rachel takes him to hospital and was there to call an ambulance when needed
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For the first seven years after their divorce, relations between Rachel Adriano and her ex-husband were cordial but a little wary.
They managed to avoid each other except at Christmas and family gatherings. As time passed they became, if not exactly strangers, then no more than polite acquaintances.
When they parted in 2003, Andy had a serious drink problem, which he has since overcome, and Rachel felt that their 38-year-old marriage had sputtered to a natural end.
Caring for the ill can cost you your freedom
It was 1996 and I had travelled to Bordeaux in France, with my sons, for a family wedding. My husband, Richard West, chose not to come along. That was OK by me: we were not one of those couples who did everything together and family weddings were not his gig. Richard’s gig, preferably, was being in Vietnam, or the Balkans, or anywhere, really: he’d been a foreign correspondent and wandering reporter all his life.
This was just before the era of the ubiquitous mobile phone, so I am not quite sure how the message reached me: but family networks were alerted and I received the instruction to ring London because Richard, then aged 66, was in hospital after a stroke. He was not in any danger but I needed to return to England as soon as possible. I remember thinking, “Our life is going to change: but I am not going to let this take over my life.”
No such thing as typical day for a home carer
Recent bad press about care in the community has included stories about home carers turning up late, or not at all, not having time to talk, getting people out of bed mid-morning and putting them back there in the afternoon.
It’s a very demanding job but for every ‘bad’ carer there are many more good carers who are dedicated, professional, do a sterling job and deserve a pat on the back.
Their job is so much more than just turning up and making a cup of tea. They help with a huge number of tasks such as washing, dressing, cleaning, using the toilet, and, above all, helping clients retain their independence in their own home.
Carers provide a lifeline to many eldery people who depend on people like Agnes Hinrainer
