Getting The Balance Right

Special Saturday


I have 4 children, 3 youngest are all autistic. My oldest Ely is however your typical 11 year old tween. Trying to get the balance right between the 3 youngest and Ely is fairly challenging at times and sometimes I hate to say this but I fail dismally usually upsetting one of them.

Now Ely knows we have a very special family and most of the time she understands, why she can’t do certain things. Like having her friends round, we have tried to get the others used to the idea of a stranger in the house but it just upsets them too much and causes massive meltdowns. Unfortunately I can’t do things with Ely such as going shopping together more so now I have had my strokes I find it very difficult and tiring to leave the house.

I do try and give Ely a normal childhood as situations allow, like she does Karate twice a week. She loves going and is a born natural at it and is doing very well. She is half way to becoming a black belt in roughly 3 years time. It helps give her confidence as well as keeping her fit. Her confidence levels took quite a battering when the children were first diagnosed, she was picked on at school because of it. Consequently we moved her to a different school and one that understood. They actually did a lesson on children being different, autism and additional needs.

Now as Ely as got older she has joined Young carers and Siblings group where she gets to meet other children in a similar situation to her. They go out on trips together, holidays. It not only gives her a bit of independence but it allows her to talk to people that understand what she is going through and how she feels about things. Young carers have regular group meetings at her school so she can discuss any worries she may be experiencing.

So as much as I try to get the balance right between the differing needs sometimes its not easy.


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