Mother of autistic boy who received hate-filled letter from angry neighbor telling her to 'euthanize' her son issues touching response
‘I wish people would be more understanding‘
Eloquent answer; Karla Begley, pictured here with her son Max in 2010, took to a blog about special needs children to deliver a response to a vile letter a neighbor had sent her complaining about the boy’s sounds
Karla Begley, 44, wrote letter published by a blog about special needs children responding to neighbor’s anonymous complaint
On August 16, Max Begley’s grandmother got a vile letter complaining about the noise the 13-year-old autistic boy was making
The self-described ‘pissed off mother’ who penned the letter suggested that Max be euthanized
By Daily Mail Reporter
PUBLISHED: 00:38, 30 August 2013 | UPDATED: 06:03, 30 August 2013
A Toronto mother who had received a shocking anonymous letter last week urging her to have her 13-year-old autistic son euthanized has issued a response in the form of a letter about the importance of tolerance.
Karla Begley and her family were left reeling after receiving a disturbing, hate-filled missive from a neighbor in Newcastle, Canada, informing her that the noise her special needs son, Max, was making while playing outside terrified her ‘normal’ children.
On Wednesday, Miss Begley, whose 15-year-old son, Jack, is also on the autistic spectrum, and she herself is wheelchair-bound due to multiple sclerosis, wrote a letter to a blog about special needs children called Love That Max to address the controversy in a constructive way.
Eloquent answer; Karla Begley, pictured here with her son Max in 2010, took to a blog about special needs children to deliver a response to a vile letter a neighbor had sent her complaining about the boy’s sounds
Eloquent answer; Karla Begley, pictured here with her son Max in 2010, took to a blog about special needs children to deliver a response to a vile letter a neighbor had sent her complaining about the boy’s sounds
Words of wisdom: Mrs Begley (left) urged people to be more understanding towards special needs children like her son (right), whom she called a blessing
‘I will not stoop to an insulting level,’ she opened her missive. ‘What I have to say is about tolerance, acceptance and respect for kids with special needs.’
Begley addressed the noise complaints cited in the callous letter she had received, saying that all children make noise, not just ones with special needs. In the case of her son, the sounds he emits is the only way he can express himself.
‘If Max’s sounds bother someone, I’d hope that person would let us know in a respectful way,’ Begley wrote. ‘Give us a chance to handle it instead of being cowardly about it.’
The 44-year-old mother went on to say that she prefers when people openly address her son’s disability, like kids in the neighborhood who come up to her and ask why Max talks ‘funny.’
‘The parents are embarrassed. But if the mom isn’t going to talk properly to a child, or teach him that kids with autism are not contagious, I will!’ she said in the letter. ‘It’s important to help kids understand and not be fearful from a young age.
‘I’ll tell children, “He has autism and he has trouble with speech, but you can say ‘hi’ to him.” And then I’ll have Max say ‘hi’ back and it’s OK. I’d rather kids ask than grow up to be the sort of people who write nasty letters about autism!’
The mother further explained that just because her son cannot express himself in words like most people, or take part in activities like other children his age, he still understands everything and enjoys life.
Nothing good to say: An anonymous neighborhood mother wrote this letter to the grandmother of a severely autistic teen in Newcastle, Canada
Nothing good to say: An anonymous neighborhood mother wrote this letter to the grandmother of a severely autistic teen in Newcastle, Canada
Sadness and anger: Max’s mother Karla Begley was in tears as she read the hateful letter directed at her son
‘People with special needs are people first. They have every right others do,’ she argues. ‘Instead of glares, I wish people would give smiles. Instead of anger toward parents, I wish people would be more understanding.
‘Trust me, if there’s behavior ruining someone else’s day, it’s ruining mine and I want to deal with it!’
In the disgusting missive the Begleys had received, the cowardly author called Max a useless burden to his family. But his mother has insisted that in fact her son has been a blessing to her.
‘I think I’m lucky: How many mothers still have their 13-year-old son wanting to sit on the couch, have mommy time and cuddles, and not be afraid to show love and affection?’ Karla Begley writes.
The mother added that while her son’s future is uncertain due to his disability, she and the rest of the family are unfazed by the possibility that Max may never have a wife or a job.
‘Everyone has a place in the world,’ she said in her eloquent response. ‘Some people are meant to hold big jobs. Some people make you happy and smile.’
During the summer, 13-year-old Max spends his mornings with his grandmother Brenda Millson in Newcastle.
She says she was shaking after receiving a letter August 16 from an anonymous neighbor complaining that the noise Max makes outside is ‘DREADFUL!’ and that it ‘scares the hell out of my normal children!’ Mrs Millson shared the whole letter with CityNewsToronto.
The woman’s anonymous letter went beyond the offensive noise complaint into even more repugnant territory, writing that Max is a ‘hindrance’.
‘Who the hell is going to care for him? No employer will ever hire him, no normal girl is going to marry/love him and you are not going to live forever!’
Then she recommended something truly atrocious.
‘Personally, they should take whatever non retarded body parts he possesses and donate it to science. What the hell else good is he to anyone!’
‘Do the right thing and move or euthanize him! Either way, we are ALL better off.’
‘Who says that about a child?’ Max’s mother Karla Begley asked City News.
She started to cry as she explained that her secondary progressive multiple sclerosis keeps her from walking and running with her son.
13-year-old Max was diagnosed with severe autism when he was two and he spends his summer mornings at his grandmother’s house, usually playing in the backyard
On his side: The neighborhood came out in support of Max after hearing about the abhorrent letter
Since learning about the letter, neighbors of Max’s grandmother have come out in a public display of support for the boy in an attempt to out the letter’s author.
Max’s father is worried that the letter might lead to violence against his son.
‘A person that’s that crazy or demented who would fabricate something like that…it leads me to believe that they’re very dangerous,’ Jim Begley said, ‘and right now I’m scared for my son’s safety.
If the writer is identified, Max’s family plans to press charges.
