Carers Chill4us | Carers message board

Just needed to get my feelings onto paper and out of my head...... Marks sister dropped a bomb shell this morning. She's struggling with all her commitments and needs to drop some of her hours. She makes me feel bad  because she is basically saying that's she's trapped with caring  for Mark but she keeps "reminding me " that if anything happens to Mark she needs to still have her other job . I'm well aware of Marks frailty  and I just feel sometimes that everyone is just waiting for him to die so they can get on with their lives. It's only my opinion and sorry if that upsets or offends anyone. I'm the one that will lose everything and without Mark my world will crumble. I am still constantly struggling with the care agency to get decent people who actually 'care' and don't just see Mark as an object. Marks parents seem to be away every couple of months and never offer to give me a break for a bit at the weekend and his sister only does what's she's paid for. Anyway  thankyou to anyone who manages to read all of this!! I know you all care and understand what I am going through and that's why I feel a little better writing it here!!

debz xx

I cannot find the right words to say to you, it must be very difficult.
Mark is your life and we understand that. I expect his family realize this as well but to you it feels like they are being cruel.
May tomorrow be a brighter day for both of you.
xx

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I really feel for you Debz.

it must be so frustrating when care workers show no humanity to Mark, but for his own family to behave the way they are is a disgrace.

It would be lovely for you to be in a position to tell his sister what you really think!! (Watching my language at the moment as I feel mad for you!!)

Family does seem to be a disappointment when long term care is needed and help and support desperately required.

The fact she sees her help as a job and not a loving thing to do for her lovely brother says a lot about her Debz. I think we all wish we lived closer to each other to be able to help and support each other how it should be.

Take care dear Debz. We are all here for you whether it is to rant, cry, swear or laugh.

Love and support

xxxxxxx

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I have had a couple of hours out and a good cry so now back home with my fixed smile. Thank you for caring xx

Dear Debz, Sadly I can relate to most of what you are going through, being let down, being taken for granted that you'll pick up the pieces, these care agencies/relatives have no idea what it feels like to be let down where caring for a loved one is involved, it sounds to me they are only thinking of themselves and what is convenient for them, they need reminding Mark is still human with feelings just like everyone else, they also need to know your worth, to them out of sight is out of mind.

You take care Debz, we always here for you.

Mo x

I  cannot suggest anything that would help you Debz but can understand how you feel, thinking of you and will keep you in my prayers
Love anniexx hu****

I can understand how you feel Debs

Thinking of you

Love Ann x        hu****

Aw Debz, what a position and such a very tough place to be.
I worry too with issues around care. Our daughter is our PA and has been for the last eight years. The first few years she kept her other job on too but as things progressed and our support hours increased, she gave it up to work full-time with us - well the usual full-time working hours NOT the Carers full-time hours!
I worry, if something happens and we lose him, she will lose not only her much loved dad but her main source of income too. I don't like to look too far into the future and try to count our blessings, small as they are.  :smiley:
I hope you find a solution that works for you.
hu****
M x

gpr
Pamella

Thinking of you Debz  hu****

dear debz
I truly feel for you
thinking of you so much
try to stay strong and positive
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x

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Afternoon lovely Debz.

I was just thinking of you and hoping you are okay.

Lots of love and hugs

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