Charities have urged Norfolk’s army of unpaid carers to seek support if struggling to cope – after a court heard how a woman who had cared for her elderly mother for six years lashed out when the pressure became too much.

Julia Wilkerson putting on the fifteenth green, one hole away from the championship. Photo: Bill Smith een 11/5/01

Julia Wilkerson, a former team captain of the Norfolk Ladies County Golf Association and five-time winner of the Norfolk county championships, snapped while caring for her 71-year-old mother and hit her over the head with a broom.

King’s Lynn Magistrates’ Court heard that while Wilkerson and her mother, who suffers from Parkinson’s disease, “clearly love each other” six years of care had caused the relationship to break down.

Furthermore, the 40-year-old, of Saddlebow Road, King’s Lynn, had fallen into a “cycle of resentment and guilt” at the feeling her life was no longer her own, the court heard.

Magistrates handed out a 12-month conditional discharge after being handed a series of letters which showed her to be a ‘very caring person’.

Today, charities for carers told how such feelings of ‘anger and resentment’ were common, but reiterated that support was out there for anyone feeling in such a way.

Maria Plumb, spokesman for Norfolk Carers Helpline, said: “There are thousands of carers nationwide and 80,000 in Norfolk and services do exist to support these carers.

“Asking for help is not an admission of failure, there is support there and we want to help them have a normal relationship with the person they are caring for.

“All these feelings are common and we want to get them back to the stage where it is their husband, wife, mother, daughter and to look past the illness.

“We do get many calls from people who are frustrated and resentful but on the flip side we do get people who are very happy to continue caring.”

The court heard how Wilkerson agreed to take on the ‘very serious responsibility’ of looking after her mum after retiring from her successful career on the golf course.

However, matters came to a head on Friday, October 5 last year, when the pair got into an argument while clearing out the garage.

“She (the mother) admits she hit her on the back, which led to Julia assaulting her using a broom,” Yvonne Neill, prosecuting, said.

The attack caused bleeding to the head and broken skin and was “entirely disproportionate to the victim slapping her on the back”, Ms Neill added.

Ian Graham, in mitigation, said it was an ‘unfortunate case of two people who clearly love each other’.

He added: “The relationship has got into difficulty. Julia has siblings but she was the person who decided to take on the very serious responsibility of becoming her carer. It appears to have got too much for her.”

He said she was someone with previous good character who had got into a ‘difficult situation’ with her mother but that it was hoped the two would now be able to reconcile their differences.

Wilkerson was ordered to pay £100 towards the costs of a trial, after she denied the charge of assault by beating, and a £15 victim surcharge.

Chairman of the bench Jill Skinner said: “Both you and your mother are probably very upset by the whole thing.”

Barbara Williams, director of Parkinson’s UK, which runs a helpline and network of support workers, said: “We would always urge people to contact the helpline. We also have support workers, we have paid staff around the UK who are there to support people with Parkinson’s and their families.

“We have local groups, where people can meet people in a similar situation. Some of our local groups will be able to provide some support in the form of respite, so people can take a break.

“All these things can help to take the pressure out of the pressure cooker.”

Twelve years ago, the EDP launched the We Care appeal, to provide practical support and advice to unpaid carers living in Norfolk.

Since then, it has raised more than £1m, the interest on which is used to pay for short breaks and leisure activities to give carers a breather from their caring role.

Paddy Seligman, the appeal’s chairman, said: “One of the things we do is pay for a short break for someone who is a carer, so they can get away from that caring role.

“A 48-hour or week’s break can help top up their energy levels so they can carry on caring.”

We Care, which is based at Wolterton, helps around 130 people a year. As well as breaks, the fund can also pay for equipment such as dishwashers, washing machines and tumble driers.

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