For many unpaid family Carers Christmas will be no different to any other day of the year, the loved ones they care for still have to be cared for 24/7, their disability or illness doesn’t go away just because it’s Christmas, quite often Carers have found that friends and family no longer visit or even enquire how they or their caree are which leaves them feeling shut off from the outside world, what many people don’t realise is anyone, and I mean anyone can become a carer in an instant, you don’t chose to become an unpaid carer, it just happens without warning and in some cases without realising you are a carer.

Christmas is no fun either for the person being cared for, they to feel cut off as well while the outside world is having Christmas.

Christmas is another time when outside help is not always available and everywhere is closed putting more and more pressure on the unpaid carer at this time of year.

Chill4us forum is a lifeline to many unpaid carers, it may not be person to person but knowing someone is out there can ease a little of the loneliness and isolation and Chill4us is open all over Christmas, New year and the rest of the year.

• My caring duties are the same on Christmas day as on every other day of the year.

• The fact that everyone else seems to be celebrating, socialising and having a jolly time makes the feeling of isolation, loneliness, sadness more keenly felt.   I do not go out of the house on Christmas Day even for a short walk as I would feel conspicuous walking alone at a time when people are getting together in groups of family or friends.   Even television on Christmas Day majors on family/friends having a lovely time together

• Christmas is just the same as any other day apart from the presents and Christmas dinner

• I’m afraid Christmas isnt really anything to me. I miss my parents – they cant come and see me as my caree’s mum goes away to France. This year we will however have carers in for a couple of hours so maybe it won’t be such a lonely day this year for me. All I want (as always) is for my partner to be happy and in reasonable good health if thats possible.

• Since my son became ill Christmas has been unbearably sad for me. It is a day to be got through. Everyone seems to be so full of Christmas spirit & I am really unhappy. I suspect many others feel the same way as our family. To get through I try to concentrate on the New Year & hope that things will be better

• I may not see anyone on Christmas Day which makes it lonely

• We’re still stuck in the same relentless routine that we were this time last year, so I don’t feel we’ve got a lot to celebrate, except for our sheer survival.

• I have been caring for hubby for over 13 years and in that time friends have backed off.

• Nobody realises that this time of year when people look forward to office parties, Santa coming and over indulging, that behind closed doors there are some very lonely and unthought of people.

• Family and friends expect you to be in a jolly mood because it’s “christmas” and don’t understand why you find it so hard. Bah humbug to you, they think.

• I know I am missing the real meaning of Christmas here but the reality isn’t all that is portrayed on commercials and misty christmas films.

• Its a stressful time for sure, but, like any other time, you do the best you can for your family. I have six children, four of whom have ASD/ADHD or other mental health problems. one also has diabetes and thyroid failure. because they all have different requirements it involves a lot of planning and being available at all times

• Partying is a no no I care for my 85 yr old mum who has dementia so if mum don’t go neither do I

How do you cope at Christmas if you are a carer to your partner who has a drink problem.? You come to dread this time of year. You fear that most of the charities that offer help, will be closed.
Being in close contact with family can bring out tensions and problems which maybe you have been able to hide for the rest of the year.  You may ask “How can I stop my partner from drinking so much?” Unfortunately the short answer to that is – you can’t. They will stop when it suits them.   You have to look after YOU.  Abuse, whether physical or emotional is not acceptable.
These charities are there for YOU and remember to make an appointment to go and see your doctor to discuss the problems as soon as you can.
http://www.samaritans.org/
http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/

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