In the shoes of… Dorothy Hall | Independent Social Worker, Carer and Whose Shoes? guru!

Dorothy Hall facilitating a Whose Shoes? session

Caring is often tough, but all the more so when you are caring for someone … in another country. For Day 9  of our series of ‘walk in my shoes’ blogposts, looking at dementia from different perspectives, my friend and colleague Dorothy Hall shares her story. As a highly skilled social worker, Dorothy spotted the early signs of Milou’s dementia  and tried to navigate the care system in Belgium…

As a social worker with many years experience in working in the field of adult social care, I spotted the signs of dementia in my mother-in-law (Milou) at an early stage. This did not make dealing with an increasingly difficult situation any easier, in fact I think it contributed to my stress.

I anticipated a lot of the subsequent problems, but not all. One area of stress was in the complications that developed in the relationships with Milou’s close friend  of some 50 years plus, and in the attitude of her only son, my husband, who did not want to accept what was obvious to me.

Milou lived in Brussels, she and her friend relied on each other for mutual companionship and support and were both in their eighties. The first difficulty was in the reaction of her friend, who felt that if Milou would only pay more attention, her difficulties would be resolved. She was convinced that loss of memory was an indication of mental laziness & not listening.